Life changes in the instant

I continue to love a man who appreciated Mahler and Bon Jovi, relished world travel and his own basement "cave", but who was also a quiet, good and decent human being. He was a fighter pilot who flew 126 missions over North Vietnam and who continued to love to fly vintage aircraft and teach flying, almost daily, long after he retired from active military duty.

He and a 30 year veteran captain of an international air carrier lifted off in a vintage plane a few years ago. I'm told it was a long, slow take-off roll that hot, humid midday. They cleared the first set of trees at the end of the grass strip, but did not clear the thirty foot dead pecan tree. Both died on impact. We had been married 28 years.

I clearly remember brushing our teeth together that morning, discussing what we were doing that day. I had a routine doctors appointment. He was so excited about his morning flight in that WWII plane and the student pilot he was to instruct later that day. I also clearly remember standing alone in my living room that afternoon as I watched the local breaking news about the crash and the promise for "film at 11".

I have never had one moment of anger. Grief, yes, regret, yes, but always about little personal details and never about his flying. I thinking that most wives of these adventurous spirits feel the same way. We love them and want them to be and do what fills their hearts.

Our son, then 25, spoke at his dad's service. He was amazed at the standing room only crowd that numbered over 500, amazed at the number of people his father had impacted even though, throughout his own life, his dad had not seemed to be anything special - just a regular dad who loved to fly. He let us all know that his only wish was to grow to be a man his father would have been proud of.

Don't be sad for those of us who remain. We glory in his life well lived. We should all be so lucky!